Let me ask you a simple question - does your manager
motivate you? If you're lucky then the answer will be yes.
However, when I'm running a seminar for managers and team
leaders on team motivation, the comment I hear most is -
"How can I motivate my team when my manager doesn't motivate
me?" So the next question is - what are you going to do
about it?

One of the best ways to motivate your team is to give them
feedback on their performance. You tell them when they do
things you do like and you tell them when they do things you
don't like.
It's exactly the same with your manager. Now, I appreciate
that we're getting into scary territory here but you're
going to have to take some action. There's no point in
saying that your manager needs to change because that's
unlikely to happen unless you do something about it.

The rules for giving your manager feedback are almost the
same as those for your team.


1. Do it ASAP - When your manager says or does something you
do or don't like you need to say something right away. If
it's something you do like it's not much use saying
something weeks later. - "Thanks for helping me with that
difficult customer last week Dave." Dave is going to have a
bit of a problem remembering that situation and the effect
of the feedback is totally wasted.
It also makes sense to tell Dave about something you don't
like as soon as possible.

2. Do it in private - You really don't want members of your
team or your colleagues hearing what you say to your manager
be it good or bad.

3. Check that it's okay to speak - Make sure that you have
your manager's full attention. There's no point in trying to
make your point if they have something else on their mind or
they're working on their computer. It's also good manners
and shows respect.

4. Announce your intentions - If your manager is not used to
receiving feedback from you, what do you think runs through
their mind when you pull up a chair or ring them on the
phone - they think it's bad news, or your about to complain
about something or you've done something wrong or there's a
problem.
It's important therefore to tell them up front what you want
to speak about.
You might say - "Linda, I'd just like to thank you for
something you did today." Or if it's something you don't
like you might say - "Linda, I'd just like to talk about
something you said today that I'm uncomfortable about."

5. Tell them how YOU feel about their behaviour - This is
nothing to do with any one else. Don't say things like -
"The team don't like the way you speak to us." Use lots of
"I" messages; say things like - "I'm unhappy with the way
you told me how to do that job today. It made me felt
embarrassed in front of my team members. Would you be
prepared to speak to me in private in future?"

6. Focus on one thing at a time - Don't confuse your manager
with a whole list of behaviours. If it's things that you do
like then you're in danger of coming across as patronising.
If it's things that you don't like, then it may come across
as a whinge.

7. Be specific - When you're giving your manager feedback
it's important to focus on job related behaviour and not on
the personality of the individual.
If you feel a bit uncomfortable, try to focus on the
manager's behaviour in terms of how they said or did
something. That's what you're giving feedback on, not them
as a person.
It becomes easier if you're using "I" messages and being
very descriptive about what you've seen or heard. You could
say something like - "I liked the way you showed me how to
layout that report - thank you Jeff." Or - "Jeff, I'm
concerned by the way you told me how to do that report. It's
important for me to get it right, would you be prepared to
spend a bit more time explaining what you require?"

8. Include the customer and the organisation - Whenever
appropriate; relate what your feedback is about to how the
customer or the business could be affected. This of course
could be an internal or an external customer.

9. Get input - When giving constructive feedback, it's
important to get the manager's input. You might say - "I'm
unhappy with the number of tasks you've asked me to do this
week and I'm concerned that I may not be able to do them in
the best interests of the business. However I'm willing to
listen to what you have to say and discuss how we can make
efficient use of my time."

10. Don't leave them low - This is particularly important
after giving feedback on something you're not happy about.
This isn't an attack on the manager; it's about job related
behaviour. Think about how you feel when one of your team
speaks to you about something they're unhappy about. It can
leave you low and possibly stressed. Some years ago after a
particularly "difficult" meeting with my sales team I was
feeling a bit low. However, at the end of the meeting one of
the team said - "Alan, we're all going for a beer and we
want you to join us. We have no hard feeling towards you and
we like you as our manager." You can bet that made me feel
good.

There's still a culture in some organisations that doesn't
allow the boss to be challenged. It's a case of - "The boss
tells me what to do and it's my job to do as I'm told." It's
also the case that some managers don't want to say anything
to their boss for fear of being perceived as negative or a
whinger.
Be brave and give your boss some positive feedback. The
occasional compliment or descriptive thank you will work
wonders for your relationship. And if the boss is doing or
saying something you don't like, give him or her some
constructive feedback using the rules above. If you follow
these rules, then you're much less likely to be seen as a
whinger.

Alan Fairweather - The Motivation Doctor - is a professional
speaker, author and business development expert.
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